That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
