I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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