I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
