I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
