she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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