i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
