Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize