if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
someone owes me an orgasm
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
