My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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