bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
