Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I pour the whiskey from now on
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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