If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize