Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
