when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
