everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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