so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
