why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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