If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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