I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
