It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
