Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
