She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
