it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
