Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Are we still banned from the library?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
