don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
