i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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