I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
