Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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