I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
