...so i touched it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
