Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Its about making memories worth repressing
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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