You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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