And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
