I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
