haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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