Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
