"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we made out on top of his cat.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
