So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
