Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
found the other keg... it's in the tree
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
