so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
