I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
3 2 1 whiskey
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
