im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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