note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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