I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
