good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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