is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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