lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
