its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
