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What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
