it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize