there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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