3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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