shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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