also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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