her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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