So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
