i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
